Proof that I am no longer cool

In my teens and twenties, I was cool. I was fairly cute, liked to party, I was pretty popular and did fun but ‘cool’ things. I even drove a nice car. The down side was that I was not very mindful, nor did I stop to enjoy how fun it could be not to be so ‘cool’. Last week, after an evening of wine, conversation and storytelling with friends, they recommended that I blog about this.

Over the past several years, there have been signs. I should have paid closer attention, but now I fear it is too late. There is no going back now – I have to own up to the fact that I am quickly becoming an eccentric and somewhat geeky middle-aged woman.

Proof:

1. I fell out of a Metro bus
The demise of my coolness began at the age of 29, just before I was to be married. I used to live in the city and take the bus to work. Every morning involved a ritual of putting on my cutest clothing, heels, makeup, etc., in order to ‘primp’ for work. It was all good until that fateful day. It was one of those days when I was feeling extra cute and confident. I waited for the bus as usual and strutted down the aisle to find my seat. Once the bus arrived at my destination, I proceeded with confidence and swished down the aisle – the bus was packed and I was feelin really great. When I approached the steps at the front of the bus, my heel must have caught and the next thing I know I am flying out of the bus on to the sidewalk, right on my butt. All I can remember is the bus driver laughing and shaking his head, the door closing, and the folks lined up against the window laughing at me too. Needless to say, I was humbled by this experience.

2. I wore two completely different shoes to work
My excuses: it was early and dark. I didn’t realize it until I got into work that day (a 45 minute commute), but I had two completely different shoes – one blue with a regular heel and one black with a wedge heel. How embarrassing is that?

3. I paid for food at the drive-through and then forgot to stop and get the food at the next window
I went to McDonalds with my son – we ordered and paid for the food but I kept driving. My son tried to stop me but I just yelled at him and told him to shush because mommy had to concentrate on driving. He was just trying to tell me that I forgot to get the food. I had to go through again to pick up my food. UGGHHHH!!!

4. I drive a minivan with geeky tags
Last year I finally gave up. I drove a silver 2-door acura integra for the longest time. It started becoming a bit silly to fit 4 kids and an array of sports equipment and a large dog into that car. So last year, I bought a Honda Odyssey – my license plate holder says “frodo lives”. Yes, I am a minivan mom now and proud to be one (and I actually love my car). scary.

5. I brought my cordless phone to work thinking it was my cellphone
Every morning when I wake up, I put my cellphone, keys, and glasses in my purse. One morning at work, my husband called me to ask where I had put the cordless phone. In my haste I barked at him and said something like “I can’t believe you are calling me at work to bother me with this!!!”. On the way home, I reached in to my purse to make a call and instead of my cell phone, I found the cordless phone from my house.

6. I attend Harry Potter parties in costume
Do I need to explain this one any further?

7. I constantly yell at my son about listening to that stupid ‘rap’ music
It has been confirmed that I have turned in to my mother.

I could go on, but I think you get the point.