One of the the areas in which I have gained some clarity is around what I want for my life. I can honestly say that 12 months ago I would have never been able to do this. A year ago I was not as frustrated or moody, but I was also not as conscious.

 With that said, here is a list of the 7 things that I want for my life:

1. To live in a place that feeds my soul

2. To have a job that makes my heart sing

3. To make more than six figures (financial security), and have money in the bank (more than 50k, other than my retirement accounts)

4. To be a Lifelong learner

5. To be fit, healthy and happy (is this 3 or 1?)

6. Relationships that feed my soul, and my intellect

7. To have my children be healthy, happy and confident

 Simple, right?

 Living my best life – what it means to me:

1. Living well within my means
2. Having more than enough income/wealth to carry me through life
3. Finding meaningful and inspired work that makes my heart sing
4. Having deep, meaningful relationships
5. Living in an environment that feeds my soul
6. Being strong, healthy and fit
7. Exploring new places, and experiencing new things
8. Being a lifelong learner
9. Regularly spend time on my creative outlets
10. Being thankful for everything, everyday

What does your list look like?

Once in a while I see a glimpse of that sweet, good-natured boy that I raised – but most of the time what I experience is the whole 15 thing. The problem is that when they turn this age, they are experts at it. They know exactly how to drive parents insane and are relentless at doing it. There is no rhyme or reason for many things they do are say – it just is. I have devised a 5 rules that help me to remain sane:

1. Let go of the small stuff.
It is REALLY important to choose your battles. Sometimes at the height of frustration it is really hard to walk away, but it is imperative for your own sanity.

2. Don’t engage in insane debates – you will never win
This is by far the most annoying thing about my 15 year old, he is capable of making a case for whatever it is he wants to do in what sounds like a very convincing way. Once you ‘peel back the layers’ you realize that what is being suggested is insane. Don’t fall for it – disengage and walk away.

3. Find unique ways to connect with them and to remain present in their life
I connect with my son through his music, he introduces me to new stuff all the time and I love it – we listen together all the time. I also support his passion for skateboarding – though it makes me nervous — even providing transportation for him (and his friends) to and from skating locations. Some other things – I text message him, leave notes in his backpack and in his room, and we have a sit down family dinner at least 2x per week…

4. Don’t forget that you are in charge
Sometimes I just want to wave the white flag, surrender, and let him rule. I have done this once or twice and it never pays off – so don’t do this. Put your foot down with no further discussion as to why. They may hate you now but appreciate it later.

5. Keep a mental picture of them as your beautiful baby
Remind yourself of how special they are – and that this is just a phase both of you will joke about later on in life.